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Post by JULIETTE DUBOIS on Aug 14, 2013 14:34:21 GMT -8
[IMPORTANT.]After fucking the popo (not literally, of course.) and a breakfast of champions, there was one last thing the dynamic duo needed to do this morning before they could call it a day. What came next was part two of their mission: Operation Serenade the Whale. Julie bounced in her seat as Cal parked the car, the sugar from her feast of pancakes keeping her wide awake despite having zero sleep from the night before. She was energized and ready to go- that surely wouldn't be the case in about an hour, but for the moment she was alert, and that's all that mattered. They had a mission, after all, and what kind of operative would she be if she couldn't stay up all hours of the night and complete her duty?! (lol, duty.) Once the car was parked and turned off for the night, Julie scrambled out, taking a deep breath of the night air before turning to fix mischievous greens on her partner in crime. "Are you ready for this, Spankhiney?" She asked in a dead serious tone, though the smile on her lips said otherwise. What can she say, she loved irritating others, especially friends and loved ones. And it just so happened that Bailey was one of their favorite targets. Poor guy. The blonde led the way into the apartment building, having been here a couple of times before and knowing the place fairly well. She didn't even glance at the elevators as she slammed open the door to the stairwell; she knew from experience that she and Cal were going to be too hyper to stand around waiting for very long. Better to burn off some energy racing up the stairs, which was exactly what they were doing- crashing two at a time up the steps. She proceeded to hold the door open for Cal as they finally reached his floor, holding out her arm like a perfect gentleman. "I think we broke our record." She remarked cheerfully, eyes shining with hyperactive energy as she bounced on the tips of her toes. It was only a hop, skip, and jump to Cal and Bailey's apartment, and Julie moved from foot-to-foot, waiting impatiently for Cal to open the door for them so they could finally begin part two. "It's too bad we don't have actual mariachi costumes." She sighed wistfully, a pout on her lips at their lack of hats. Oh well, they'd make do with what they had. She grinned a shark's smile just thinking about it. This was going to be so much fun. ___________________ April 30th 2012, 3:50 a.m.
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CALLUM SNOW
Civilian  
BIO CHEM MAJOR
never gonna give you up!
Posts: 137
MINI INFO - GENDER: Male
MINI INFO - D.O.B.: December 9
MINI INFO - OCCUPATION: Student. Moron.
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Post by CALLUM SNOW on Aug 14, 2013 15:28:14 GMT -8
Serenading the whale was going to be no easy feat. For one, the whale had apparently partook in some sort of intense architecture exam that had kept him up all night, for three nights in a row or so he claimed. Yes, Cal had turned it into a sex joke, no, the beluga whale had not laughed. However, it did mean that as soon as Bailey had swum back to their humble abode, he had collapsed into the ocean and sunk to its deepest depths. Read: Bailey had crawled into his room and been asleep for hours at this point, and had not stirred once when Cal had attempted to wake him up for training for the whale show.
Never mind, they could make up for lost time. No biggie. Cal and Julie bounded up the stairs and towards their flat. "Thank you milady," he winked, giving the girl a little bow as he waltzed up. "I've never been more ready for this in my life." It was then when she lamented their lack of costumes, and their lack of props. "It's okay Ju. One day when we're rich and famous-- wait a minute," he suddenly said, turning the key of his house with a flourish and inviting her in. He gestured towards the couch.
"Stay here. One minute, I have just the thing."
In a matter of seconds, Cal emerged from the room, a national hero. Okay, Julie's opinion wasn't that of an entire nation, but her approval was enough to bring a wicked grin to his face. The blonde was carrying a lobster-shaped hat and a floppy wizard one with mouse ears, the latter of which he had won at Disneyland after throwing a ring around a bottle one too many times. He stalked behind Julie, ceremoniously placing the lobster hat onto her head.
"There you go. Here, these are our costumes," he said, giving the smaller girl a pat on the head. "Now we're talking. Weapons at the ready?" he asked as he adjusted the wizard hat around his head. A kazoo and a vuvuzela were lying on the table, and he gestured towards it, giving Julie first pick of instruments. As soon as she had picked her poison, he took the other one, before bursting into Bailey's room and yelling.
"Good morning!"
With that, he started playing the instrument he had chosen. Loudly. Badly.
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BAILEY WHELAN
Civilian
ARCHITECTURE MAJOR
a ticket to where we belong.
Posts: 44
MINI INFO - GENDER: Male
MINI INFO - D.O.B.: 10/01/1991
MINI INFO - OCCUPATION: Architecture Major
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Post by BAILEY WHELAN on Aug 15, 2013 5:31:10 GMT -8
tagged: callum, juliette. time: april 30, 2012 - 3:50AM. speech: bailey. notes: pm if there are problems. There were two things you never did to Bailey. One, you don't take his food. Ever. Unless you asked and he said yes. This was especially critical if candy was the food in question, and even more so if said candy was sour caramel apple lollipops. But that was only the first of two. Two was that you never tried to wake him up when he was hibernating -- also known as catching up on sleep after a massive exam. This was arguably even more important than the first, which was saying something. After all, there was very little in the world that Bailey would choose over candy. Therefore, it was debatable as to which of the two was more likely to cause a table getting flipped in your general direction. That, however, was not the point here -- the point was that a table was going to get flipped in your general direction, period.
That little fact, however, never did do anything to deter certain individuals from doing it anyways. Namely certain individuals who went by the names of Callum Snow and Juliette Dubois. Somehow, they managed to simultaneously be both a blessing from heaven and the bane of his existence. Although right now, Bailey was more inclined to think of them as the latter. All he had wanted was to curl up in his bed, head nestled between fluffy pillows while he was enveloped in warm, plush blankets while he snuggled with a two stuffed animals crafted in the likeness of the Pokemon called Wailord and Skitty respectively. That was all he wanted, and they were so heartlessly cruel that they were going to deny him even that simple pleasure. The moment the first note was played, his world was shattered -- was that a kazoo or a vuvuzela? No, nevermind, it didn't matter, both were equally offensive.
Bailey immediately bolted up ramrod straight and blindly grabbed for the first thing he could reach. Within seconds, a wayward Skitty plushie was sent flying in the general direction of the offending instrument and whoever had the nerve and gall to play it so close to his immediate vicinity. (He would have preferred it if there had actually been an adjacent table for him to flip, but alas, the poor Skitty would have to be today's victim of Bailey's righteous fury.) "Oh, my fucking -- what did I say about waking me from my post-exam slumber, do you have any idea what time it --" Bailey paused mid-tirade to grope around the covers for his phone. What time was it, actually? Bailey squinted down at the too-bright screen before screaming and throwing the Wailord plushie in the same direction that he had chucked the Skitty one. "It is three-fifty-goddamn-fucking-AM, are you two fucking out of your minds?! It's not even balls o'clock in the morning yet, you bastards!" This, ladies and gentlemen, is why you should not attempt to wake up a hibernating Bailey Whelan. |
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Post by JULIETTE DUBOIS on Aug 15, 2013 7:27:55 GMT -8
As Cal opened the door to his flat and told her to wait, Julie plopped down on the couch. "Okie doke!" She jiggled her knees up and down as she remained seated on what was more than likely going to be her bed this morning. Chances were high that she was going to crash here- actually, she should probably let Colin know. Woops. She slid her hand into her pocket, before remembering she wouldn't have a phone until tomorrow. Wait, today. Double woops. Oh well, Colin probably knew she wasn't coming home this morning. He'd get to sleep in until noon and then stay in bed reading books for the rest of the day.
When her best friend reentered the room with hats in hand, she immediately jumped to her feet, a beaming smile on her lips as she proclaimed, "Perfect! Cal, you're the best!" Cal placed the lobster hat on her head, and she grinned at him from under bright red claws. Yes, they had the perfect disguises. The whale wouldn't know what hit him. She took a moment to pick her weapon of choice, torn between the tranquil beauty of the kazoo and the solemn grace of the vuvuzela. Both were admirable instruments, but in the end she was going to have to go with the kazoo. It was truly a class all it's own.
With their instruments picked and their hats on their heads, there was nothing left to do now except complete the mission. Cal led the way as he burst into Bailey's room, Julie following behind to give their friend a jaunty wave. The two immediately began playing their respective instruments as loudly and as badly as possible, much to the chagrin of one Bailey Whelan, who woke with an angry yell. A Skitty went sailing past her head, prompting her to play her kazoo louder.
Were they out of their minds?
Probably.
Did they care?
Nope.
Julie leaned in close to Cal and stopped playing long enough to stage whisper, just enough for Bailey to probably hear, "This isn't going according to plan, Spankhiney." A pause, then, "We should play louder." The most effective course of action, obviously. She immediately began playing the kazoo even louder than before, just as an idea struck her. Maybe Bailey just couldn't hear their music properly because they were too far away. With a sidelong glance at Cal, Julie hopped up on the bed next to Bailey and began jumping up and down, still playing the kazoo like there was no tomorrow. She almost felt a little bad for him, but this was for his own good. He needed this- it was good for him! It was jazz for your soul, he should be grateful to have friends that cared so much about his well being!
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CALLUM SNOW
Civilian
BIO CHEM MAJOR
never gonna give you up!
Posts: 137
MINI INFO - GENDER: Male
MINI INFO - D.O.B.: December 9
MINI INFO - OCCUPATION: Student. Moron.
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Post by CALLUM SNOW on Aug 15, 2013 15:01:28 GMT -8
Weird. That wasn't how it had gone in the Youtube tutorial.
Well, to be fair, it hadn't actually been a tutorial. His divine inspiration for the idea had been a video of a mariachi band serenading a beluga whale, who had danced along quite happily along to the dulcet tones of a trombone. In lieu of any other instruments that required blowing (lol blowing), Cal had decided to use the vuvuzela and the kazoo, neither of which he really knew how to play. Granted, could he have possibly learned to play the vuvuzela decently? Quite possibly. Was he going to attempt to do so? Hell no. That was too much effort. Besides, as he had said earlier, Bailey was sure to appreciate this. In fact, he was even throwing a toy Skitty in their direction, which Cal managed to duck by scooting to the side.
"But you've been asleep for twelve hours, Whale-boy. Wouldn't you say it was time for you to rise and shine?" Cal winked at the other, before leaping onto the bed after Julie. Hey, he was just following the leader, don't look at him. With that, he amped up the sound of his vuvuzela, wondering whether the noise it was emitting meant anything special in whalespeak. He'd been doing his best to pick the language up in the short while that he'd been living with Bailey for, and he'd deduced that the dying whale noises that the other male made when he was waking up were actually some sort of subliminal mating call. Hey, sperm whales existed for a reason. Whales had feelings and needs too. Speaking of which, Cal paused his playing to make an important statement.
"I didn't think that you'd be the type to be into hot Skitty on Wailord action. Just sayin'," he pointed out before resuming the beauteous playing of the instrument. He was such a good friend, really: he definitely deserved some sort of award for all of his charity.
"We're doing this because we love you. Just making sure you're alive. Don't want you to fall asleep one day, and never wake up. As for fucking out of our minds," Cal paused for a second, "We aren't doing any fucking. That would be incest, and I don't think the popo would be pleased with either of us. But are you asking me for anything, baby?"
Nudge nudge wink wink.
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BAILEY WHELAN
Civilian
ARCHITECTURE MAJOR
a ticket to where we belong.
Posts: 44
MINI INFO - GENDER: Male
MINI INFO - D.O.B.: 10/01/1991
MINI INFO - OCCUPATION: Architecture Major
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Post by BAILEY WHELAN on Aug 19, 2013 21:01:10 GMT -8
tagged: callum, juliette. time: april 30, 2012 - 3:50AM. speech: bailey. notes: pm if there are problems. Bailey was, for better or for worse, someone who questioned his choice of friends nightly. However, he questioned it harder on some nights than most, but this, oh, this was one of those nights where he was questioning it so much that he was sure that it could hold its own against prime-time cop drama interrogation room scenes. "Out, holy shit, get out!" He just wanted to go back to sleep was that too much to ask -- who the fuck was this "Spankhiney" that Juliette was talking about anyways? And did she just -- no. No, she did not just say that, oh, for fuck's sake, she did not! "Julie, no, don't you dare -- what the hell are you doing?!" The next thing he knew, his bed was suddenly the battleground onto which not one, but two badly off-key armies insisted on playing their battle march in what he was sure was the loudest possible way. Talk about a rude awakening -- and that was putting it nicely.
"That's twelve hours after three all-nighters in a row!" Bailey practically sputtered in Callum's face. Which, in all honesty was probably a lot closer than it should have been -- actually, both Callum and Juliette were a lot closer than they should have been, actually. But Callum more so than Juliette. He was not awake enough for this. Or rather, he was not awake enough to get drunk enough for this -- what? Hot Skitty on Wailord what? And did Callum just -- yep, he did. He had totally just propositioned Bailey. Or at least that was what Bailey was reading this entire situation as. Yep, definitely nowhere near awake or conscious enough to consume the quantity of alcohol he needed to put up with any of this. "Callum Frederick Snow, it is four in the morning, it is way too early for this kind of shit!"
Bailey then reached out to attempt to grab the backs of both his friends' heads so that he could unceremoniously bonk their foreheads together. Like that one thing on the internet of this stick figure holding two other smaller stick figures by the backs of their heads while pushing their faces together while proclaiming that the two should "now kiss" or something . Except that this was the "now shut the fuck up and get the fuck out" version of that. You see, usually, Bailey had what some would call the patience of a saint. He was usually pretty good at keeping his calm and just sighing while bearing the brunt of whatever shenanigans his friends wanted to pull. However, he was not a morning person, and being forced out of bed earlier than he had planned, especially after exams, was a surefire way to turn usually calm Bailey into a roaring titan with enough rage to destroy a city wall. |
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Post by JULIETTE DUBOIS on Aug 20, 2013 10:28:12 GMT -8
Julie wrinkled her nose at the suggestion of incest. Man, she hadn't caught that at all- thank god she had Spankhiney on the field with her! He always had her back! She paused from playing her kazoo long enough to level a reproachful look at the whale. "Incest is gross, Bailey, what the hell." You would think he would know better by now- after all, weren't whales supposed to be incredibly smart? Well, (Whale?) she supposed it had to skip a generation every once in a while. Not Bailey's fault.
Before she could raise the kazoo back to her lips, however, that dumbass whale grabbed her and Cal by the back of their heads and bonked their foreheads together. Wow, talk about rude. They were just checking up on him to make sure he was alive and well, and this is the thanks they got??? "Ow!" Julie sat back on the bed, rubbing her forehead where it had collided with Cal's. That hurt, dammit!
Geeze, and to think they were just trying to show they cared. Julie was heartbroken. Really, truly, and sincerely heartbroken. She frowned and jutted her lower lip out in a pout, glaring at Bailey with about as much ferocity as a puppy. "That was mean." She stated matter-of-factly, completely ignoring the point that waking him up at 4 a.m. wasn't exactly nice, either. But it was because they cared!
Obviously, she needed to get back at him somehow. Revenge was a dish best served cold. Revenge was also sweet. Sadly, she didn't have any ice cream on her, and she wasn't entirely sure if they had any in their freezer. (She would hope they would though, seeing as how Cal was her BFF and all and he would stock his freezer accordingly.) So instead, she stared at Bailey for a long moment, her gaze not wavering away from him... until she got up and cheerfully plopped herself down on Bailey's stomach, with about as much finesse as, well, a whale.
A tiny girl like Julie wasn't going to do too much damage, though, so she turned to Cal with a beaming grin. "Come sit with me Cal, it's a whale gondola!" |
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CALLUM SNOW
Civilian
BIO CHEM MAJOR
never gonna give you up!
Posts: 137
MINI INFO - GENDER: Male
MINI INFO - D.O.B.: December 9
MINI INFO - OCCUPATION: Student. Moron.
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Post by CALLUM SNOW on Aug 20, 2013 16:49:28 GMT -8
"Please, it's never too early for balls o' clock between you and me. Don't you agree, Silverhorn?" Cal winked as he removed his lips from the mouthpiece once again. It wasn't true, of course; Bailey was an attractive man, and had occasionally displayed some questionable tendencies, but his friendship with the boy had taught him that sadly, he was (at least mostly) heterosexual. Besides, thinking about banging him would just be awkward. He didn't believe in bestiality, for one. However, the fact that this was going to irritate Bailey would just make this even better-- wait, what? Cal's eyes widened as Bailey grabbed hold of his head, and his vuvuzela fell onto the other male's sheets as he let go of it "I said balls o' clock, not time for giving head--" Before he could say any more, his head had been forcefully knocked into Julie's, causing him to recoil a little in shock. "Hey, watch that!" he exclaimed, hand going up to rub his head the same time that Julie rubbed hers. In tandem like a pair of synchronised swimmers, only without the grace or the tight spandex outfits. Then again, you could definitely argue that they were just as fabulous. Maybe they should start training for the Olympics some day. With that, Cal let out a laugh. "Good morning Bailey. Consider this a surprise. We only do this because we love you, you know." Just as the last word escaped his lips, Julie had suddenly leaped over and planted herself on the other male's stomach, asking Cal to come over and sit on the whale gondola. "Coming, coming," he mused, plopping himself quite ceremoniously onto him as he sat on the single most convenient place... Spoiler alert: it was on his crotch. "Hey, something feels funny." Cal frowned a little, pretending to scratch his chin like old men did in Asian dramas. It was a mystery, and he was going to have to endeavour to find out. Then again, he was quite comfortable where he was. (He had a sneaking suspicion that he'd possibly sat on a rather sacred area, but hey, Bailey was a sperm whale. Their reproduction skills were probably A++, just like Cal's biology skills.) Now it was time to await the inevitable reaction. Seriously though, Bailey was massive. He could probably floor the two of them in a matter of seconds. Two normal-sized people fighting giants, battling for turf? Sounded like a future summer anime to him. Then again, nah. It was probably going to be a really shitty show and nobody would watch it or like it at all.
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BAILEY WHELAN
Civilian
ARCHITECTURE MAJOR
a ticket to where we belong.
Posts: 44
MINI INFO - GENDER: Male
MINI INFO - D.O.B.: 10/01/1991
MINI INFO - OCCUPATION: Architecture Major
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Post by BAILEY WHELAN on Aug 24, 2013 17:08:19 GMT -8
tagged: callum, juliette. time: april 30, 2012 - 3:50AM. speech: bailey. notes: pm if there are problems. Okay, who the hell was "Silverhorn" again? Bailey was pretty sure even in his half-asleep state of mind that he was missing something here. Either that, or he had somehow managed to space out during a conversation between the three of them where the term was christened and all that. No, but really, who the heck was Silverhorn, this was going to bother him all day now unless he got an answer out of Callum, whenever that would be. Probably after he got some sense into his head though, "Same difference!" Bailey exclaimed at Callum's comment about the time.
"Julie, it's four o-fucking-clock in the morning, I don't think that you can exactly call that nice either." Bailey groaned and flopped backwards again, his head the pillow as he brought his hands up to rub at his eyes. Dammit, what did a guy have to do to get adequate sleep after an exam around here? This certainly wasn't the first time Callum and Juliette pulled something like this after he had gone through a week of academic hell. Well, it was the first time that it involved vuvuzelas and kazoos, but that was beside the point. "If you loved me, you wouldn't be attempting to kill me by blocking my attempts to recover my sleep deficit -- oof...!" Bailey could have sworn that Juliette had practically knocked the breath out of him just then, and -- no. "Callum Snow, don't you dare do that, I swear I will -- !"
Too late. Callum had already gone and done it. If Bailey had been winding down before from his post-wake-up call rage, he was definitely back to square one now. But in his defense, having two people sit on him, one on his stomach and another... well, elsewhere first thing after being rudely awakened by said two people with instruments that sounded just as offensive as their names would probably do that to anyone. That, and the whale jokes had to stop. No, seriously, his last name didn't sound that much like the word "whale", did it? "There's nothing funny about this...!" Bailey exclaimed, trying to knock both of his friends off of him by bucking upwards. "Seriously, get off of me, I'm up already, fucking hell, I'm up, I'm awake, just get the hell off of me so I can actually get out of bed!" |
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Post by JULIETTE DUBOIS on Aug 25, 2013 14:33:38 GMT -8
And then Cal joined her on the whale gondola, and they sailed away into the sunrise- kind of like how that kid from 'The Neverending Story' rode the long magic dog through the sky forever. (Not going to lie, that dog was fucking weird looking. Granted, the movie was from 1984, but dear lord that thing was the stuff of nightmares. She had never really gotten over how strange it looked.)
... Okay, that's not quite what happened, but it was close enough.
Julie let out a burst of laughter as Cal sat down on a, err, sensitive part of Bailey's body, causing Bailey to start yelling again. She half-wondered if the neighbors could hear them- then again, they were probably used to this sort of thing by now. Cal did live here, after all, it was to be expected. What was unexpected, however, was when Bailey bucked upwards, catching her off guard and knocking her to the floor. "AAH, man overboard!" She shouted dramatically, still laughing as she landed on her back on the floor. Worth it.
Once she finally stopped giggling, she sat up and turned a critical gaze on Bailey, the expression on her face thoughtful. Jokes aside, they really had been assholes to the guy. The only obvious course of action she could see was making it up to him somehow...
"Spankhiney, I think I know what the problem is." Bright green eyes found Cal, her face emotionless save for the smallest of quirks of her lips. "This whale severely malnourished. We have to get it something to eat, and on the double!" With that, she scrambled to her feet and scampered out of the room, heading to the kitchen.
Which, as anyone who knew Julie fairly well, was never, ever, a good thing.
Ever. |
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CALLUM SNOW
Civilian
BIO CHEM MAJOR
never gonna give you up!
Posts: 137
MINI INFO - GENDER: Male
MINI INFO - D.O.B.: December 9
MINI INFO - OCCUPATION: Student. Moron.
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Post by CALLUM SNOW on Aug 27, 2013 17:24:49 GMT -8
Ah, the dulcet sounds of Bailey screaming. Not that he was an advocate of whaling or the utter destruction of the environment, but this whale in particular was extremely good target practice and quite fun to make miserable. Which was why Cal pumped his fists into the air. This had been a triumph for Spankhiney and Silverhorn, and he was going to announce it to the world:
"I am the Master Commander!"
He didn't know why he had said that. He'd totally stolen it off an Olan Rogers Youtube video, making the phrase completely unoriginal. But it had just felt right in the heat of the moment. Passion, man, that was what he was going to chalk it down to. He'd been thrust into it in a heat of passion and it was what made him do stupid things. Granted, he did stupid things all the time, but it was arguable that his current actions were stupider than usual. This, especially because the whale had enough body mass and strength remaining to let out a dying whale noise, and flex its tail so that the two puny humans were sent plunging into the sea forever--
"NOOOOOOOO!"
Cal yelled dramatically as he crashed to the ground, landing face-first onto the wooden floor. "Quick, pass me the lifeboat. We've got to sail to safety." Onward, wayward travellers! The blonde started to make rowing motions, only without the presence of oars he looked like he was thrusting his hips instead. Not like he really cared though. Bailey had seen a lot worse. But then Julie declared that she was going to the kitchen, and Cal's eyes lit up. The perfect plan! He leaped up at top speed.
"It's always fucking o' clock between you and me, baby!" he laughed as he bounded out of the room after Julie. The two of them were expert chefs, what could go wrong? The last time they had cooked together they might have created a new species, Inedibleburnificus SnowDuboisicus. Sadly Bailey had thrown their creation into the bin. Killjoy. So Cal marched into the kitchen, pulling out pots and pans.
"I think that we're going to have to make pancakes because the whale missed out on our lovely adventure from earlier. What do you say, Silverhorn?" Cal grinned. Poor Bailey was going to have a mess to clean up after. It was okay though. All he needed was some love, and he would be totally fine with whatever crap they did. That was part of friendship, wasn't it? Forgiving and forgetting? Awww.
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BAILEY WHELAN
Civilian
ARCHITECTURE MAJOR
a ticket to where we belong.
Posts: 44
MINI INFO - GENDER: Male
MINI INFO - D.O.B.: 10/01/1991
MINI INFO - OCCUPATION: Architecture Major
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Post by BAILEY WHELAN on Sept 3, 2013 2:15:34 GMT -8
tagged: callum, juliette. time: april 30, 2012 - 3:50AM. speech: bailey. notes: pm if there are problems. "Both of you, I swear to god," Bailey groaned, sitting up and no doubt looking like hell had rolled over him with several freight trains. Okay, not literally, but the point was, he probably looked like shit as much as he felt like shit right now. That tousled, artfully disheveled, I-just-got-up-glowing-with-a-goddamn-fucking-halo look was a dirty, filthy lie. No, there was nothing flattering about bedhead and pajamas -- which for Bailey currently consisted of an old Hamtaro t-shirt from high school that still somehow fit him and a pair of neon purple boxers. Yes, attractive, wasn't it? With a heavy sigh, Bailey threw his blankets off and kicked his legs over the edge of the bed before letting out a large yawn while rubbing his eyes. Dammit, he still felt like crap. That, or someone had dragged him from the grave.
Eyeing Callum, Bailey gave him his signature I-am-high-displeased look that was reserved for the blonde boy only. "You're doing it wrong," Bailey said simply. "Although, if that's what you're into, I can't say that I'm all that surprised." Why yes, he was referring to Callum's... questionable motions as he continued to pretend to row a boat. Although that couldn't be as questionable as the next thing he heard. It was as if someone had magically granted Bailey enough energy to lift a truck off of a poor, unfortunate soul, because the next thing he knew, he was on his feet and shouting, "Julie -- Julie, no!" Juliette. In the kitchen. Juliette. Kitchen. Did anyone mention that Juliette in the kitchen could only be a formula for disaster? He still had nightmares about that mutant thingamajig that came out of their oven the last time Juliette had attempted to cook. No, seriously, it looked like a tumor.
"Dammit, Callum, don't go encouraging her!" Bailey exclaimed as he chased after his two friends, then adding as an afterthought to Callum's parting cry, "That wasn't what I was implying...!" Oh, good god, there were going to attempt to make pancakes? Bailey could already see what the result would be. There would be pancake mix all over the floor, half the maple syrup would be gone to who knew where, there would be butter stuck to the ceiling and whipped cream foaming in the sink and the griddle would be burning in an unfortunate blazing glory and let's not even get into what the pancakes would look like, if you could even call them pancakes. Spoiler, you wouldn't be able to -- you would probably sooner call them a genetic experiment gone wrong that had resulted in a charred alien from Mars that looked like a cross between a feathery platypus and an elderly buffalo being served up on your plate. The only edible part would probably be the maple syrup.
"Guys, if you really want pancakes, for the love of all that is good and sacred, I'll make them for you, do you two even remember what happened the last time you two tried to cook?" If the aforementioned imagery had not been enough, the fact that Bailey was begging to let Callum and Juliette cook for them at four in the morning should be testament enough as to why he wanted to permanently ban the two of them from the kitchen. Lord have mercy on his soul, or something like that. |
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Post by JULIETTE DUBOIS on Sept 11, 2013 15:36:53 GMT -8
While Cal rummaged around for pots and pans, Julie helped herself to their fridge, pulling out all the things necessary to make a delicious, wholesome breakfast. "Sounds perfect to me, Spankhiney!" She sang, casting a critical eye over their gallon of milk before unscrewing the top and taking a cautious sniff. Oh, still good, she supposed. Could be worse. She placed it out on the counter, along with eggs and tobacco sauce... god, can't tell a couple of bachelors lived here at all. She wrinkled her nose at the selection in their fridge. They were going to have to improvise big time.
The blonde shot her violet-haired friend a grin as he arrived in the kitchen, shouting about letting him cook. Aww, what a sweetie. And to think, he just woke up too! It was so nice to see someone who wasn't a total grump when they first woke up in the morning. Still, letting him cook was completely out of the question. "Bailey, don't be silly. We already had pancakes this morning, we don't need anymore." Julie replied airily, like this was simply common sense. She stood on tiptoe so she could reach the back of the fridge and discovered a takeout box of something that was most likely past it's expiration date. Meh, why not. She put it on the counter next to everything else she had collected so far.
As she gathered the required supplies for their pancakes, she continued to explain, all too cheerfully, "Now you, on the other hand, could definitely use some pancakes." A sagely nod, then, "I mean, you poor thing, it's like you said- you pulled so many all-nighters, the least we can do for you is make you breakfast." She gave Cal an over exaggerated wink before she said, all too pleasantly, "We're your friends, and we want to do something nice for you. In fact, we insist! It's only polite of you to let us this, y'know?"
"So you just sit back, relax, and leave everything to us!" With that, she dumped the last of what she could find in the fridge on the counter, remarking to Cal almost exasperatedly, "I don't think you have nearly enough diced tomatoes to pull this off..." |
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CALLUM SNOW
Civilian
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never gonna give you up!
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Post by CALLUM SNOW on Sept 11, 2013 19:34:34 GMT -8
"I've got your back, Silverhorn!" Cal hollered in response as Julie pulled out the milk and ingredients, and he made his way over to the pots and pans. Hmm, his frying pan was still in the sink-- well he supposed that they could make pancakes in a saucepan instead. With that, Cal pulled it out, along with a large wooden spoon. The last time he'd used it, he had drawn a face on it with pencil and stuck pipe cleaners onto its head with tape, and Bailey had yelled at him about lead poisoning while Cal had tried his best to explain that it was just graphite and that he was being scared of nothing. That had been two days ago. Now the spoon had made an epic return, and Cal brandished it into the air.
"We have found our weapon of choice," he declared. It was then when Bailey arrived in the kitchen, and the blonde grinned in response, waggling his eyebrows. "Oh come on, Bailey. Sit down, relax, have a cup of tea. The two of us," he said, walking up to him and placing his hands on the other man's shoulders, "Have got this totally under control." With that, he started driving the other man out of the room, marching him onto a seat outside the kitchen and shooting him a wicked grin.
"Sit tight. You don't want me to pull out the ropes and whips and chains do you?" He gave Bailey one last wink, only to return to Julie screaming that they didn't have enough tomatoes. "It's okay, we have plenty of apples," he said, waving a hand dismissively. "You can use those instead, they're red as well." Truth be told he had absolutely no idea what Julie was doing, but he knew that it was going to be good. In the terribly awful way. He winked back in her direction, tapping a finger on his chin.
"If I remember correctly... We ran out of sugar," he muttered as he opened the door to the pantry. Right, he'd used it all when he was trying to pull an all-nighter and was drinking copious amounts of coffee. And it had been such a good bag of sugar too. "Julie, I say instead of making the effort to go and buy some more, we should just use salt instead. What do you say?"
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BAILEY WHELAN
Civilian
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a ticket to where we belong.
Posts: 44
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Post by BAILEY WHELAN on Sept 14, 2013 15:14:40 GMT -8
tagged: callum, juliette. time: april 30, 2012 - 3:50AM. speech: bailey. notes: pm if there are problems. There was no other way of putting this other than he had just walked straight into a horror movie. Just what was Juliette planning to do with all of the things she had yanked out of the refrigerator and unceremoniously planted on the counter? Okay, at least she was sniffing the milk, it was past its expiration date by a day or two -- oh, good lord, she wasn't thinking about using it, was she? And Tabasco sauce? Who the hell put Tabasco sauce in their pancakes? Had he just walked into a science experiment gone terribly, horribly, awfully, terrifyingly, frightfully wrong? "Julie, I really don't think you need Tabasco sauce for pancakes, that goes on pizza -- oh, my god, Cal, I thought I told you to throw that out two weeks ago, you don't even like spaghetti carbonara! Julie, don't you dare use any of that takeout!"
Well, yes, pancakes sounded nice, he wasn't going to lie, but Tobasco-and-leftovers-as-old-as-the-Roman-Empire pancakes were not what he had in mind. "I mean, don't get me wrong, it's not that I don't appreciate it, I really do, but really, guys, let me -- oh, my god, Julie what are you doing with those tomatoes?!" Tomatoes? In pancakes? Were they even making pancakes anymore? Because it was starting to sound more like tomato soup and pasta to him -- tomato soup and pasta that would kill him, that was. "Cal, for the love of all that is good and holy, please just use the pancake mix and follow the instructions on the package -- do not let Julie cook from scratch, I'm begging you!" Bailey lamented to Callum as the other steered him out of the kitchen. "Cal, please, I really don't need food poisoning again right now, finals go through all of next week -- Callum Frederick Snow, would you please keep your brain above your waistline?!" Really now...?
Forget weapons of war, his two best friends could single-handedly take out an entire army as long as they had a kitchen at their disposal. "Apples and tomatoes aren't even remotely the same thing!" Bailey called back to the kitchen, and if Callum and Juliette could see his face right now, they would have seen an expression of pure, unadulterated horror. "If you absolutely must put something into the pancake batter, there are canned blueberries in the cabinet by the fridge! And please, please, please, just use the pancake mix and follow the instructions on the box, it's right next to the blueberries, for Pete's sake...!" Wait, what had Callum said just then? Something about... salt? Salt?! He was going to replace the sugar in the pancakes with salt?! "Oh, my god, guys, just use the damn pancake mix, is it really that fucking hard to just go the easy route?!" It was a miracle that the landlord hadn't kicked them all out yet with all of this ruckus here. |
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Post by JULIETTE DUBOIS on Sept 14, 2013 16:50:24 GMT -8
"Callum, you're a genius." She said affectionately, shooting him a smile as she returned to the fridge. "Apples will work perfectly!" Julie grabbed the apples and placed them on the counter along with everything else. She frowned at her assorted ingredients. Yes, everything looked good to her. This was going to be totally perfect.
A tiny little voice of reason was speaking in her ear though- and it sounded suspiciously a whole lot like one Bailey Whelan. She turned to Cal, a confused expression on her face as she asked, "Did you hear something?" A pause, then she raised her voice enough so that Bailey could hear. "I could have sworn I heard someone insisting we use pancake mix." But what a silly thing to suggest- who needed something like pancake mix? Julie smiled and shrugged. "Must have been the wind~"
Now, to work! Taking the pan Cal had brought over for her to use, Julie dumped about half the milk in it. First step complete! Next were the eggs- she picked one up, stared it for a second, then shrugged and placed it in the bowl along with the milk. Two more eggs joined the first, followed shortly by a sizable amount of flour. "Cal, start mashing the apples please! This is serious business!" She said as she cheerfully mixed the diced tomatoes into the disgusting mess.
She didn't even try at all. |
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CALLUM SNOW
Civilian
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never gonna give you up!
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Post by CALLUM SNOW on Sept 15, 2013 5:37:21 GMT -8
If this was Bailey's idea of a horror movie, man, he really didn't need to know that Cal had planned a Saw marathon sometime over the next few weeks. Because if he couldn't even stomach the idea that two of his best friends were attempting to practice some of the most basic living skills, he was going to lead a very hard and difficult life. "Oh Bailey, Julie and I are big girls, we can take care of ourselves and our own needs," Cal said, swatting the other male away with a bat of the lashes. He took out some of the flour and salt, setting it next to where Julie was stationed.
"You know you love us. x-o-x-o, Gossip Girl." He even blew Bailey a kiss for good measure. "And of course we aren't going to use the mix. You just wait where we told you to, and you can taste our labours of love. Okay? Okay." Well, from the looks of it, it was most definitely not okay in Bailey's eyes, but whatever man. 99% of their relationship was based on making him miserable. But hey, at least Bailey got to enjoy their wonderful company right? Surely something like that would come at a price. He turned his attention back to Julie, who was smiling and shrugging.
"No idea babe. Must have been some sort of hallucination. You sure you aren't starting to see visions of some tortured past?" Like that kind of thing could ever happen to anyone. In a rather dramatic voice, Cal added, "I... See... Dead... People. Dead people telling me to use pancake mix, but fuck the dead people. Not in the sexy way, by the way," he called out, making sure that Bailey caught that statement as well, "No fucking the dead! Even I don't go that far." Just to make sure that Bailey didn't get any funky ideas. He grabbed some of the apples, dicing them with a random knife that he found by the side, before grabbing some of the apple pieces and practically tossing them into the pan for Julie.
"You might want to put in some Tabasco sauce," he added, speaking with a straight face, grabbing the bottle and starting to shake its contents into the pan. "Bailey loves his spicy food."
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BAILEY WHELAN
Civilian
ARCHITECTURE MAJOR
a ticket to where we belong.
Posts: 44
MINI INFO - GENDER: Male
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MINI INFO - OCCUPATION: Architecture Major
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Post by BAILEY WHELAN on Nov 14, 2013 20:53:30 GMT -8
tagged: callum, juliette. time: april 30, 2012 - 3:50AM. speech: bailey. notes: late as fuck, i'm sorry orz;; If there was ever a time to simply be so fucking done with everything, there was no better time than now. Bailey made a sound that sounded suspiciously like a dying whale as he (almost) slammed his face into the table. Nope, He was done. So done. Just give up while he was ahead and just resign to his fate and hope that he still had some Pepto-Bismol in the medicine cabinet to soothe his poor, poor stomach later. There was chance that there was none leftover though -- considering Cal and Julie's last cooking adventure that had managed to slay even his iron stomach last time. That in itself was a huge (if downright questionable) testament to their abilities (or lack thereof) in the kitchen.
Bailey only replied to any and all things that Callum and Juliette might have said to him with dying whale noises or drunken manatee noises. Why couldn't they just use the pancake mix and canned blueberries? Why? What was so difficult about taking the easy way out? It wasn't even that it was easy that it actually made more sense to use something that was already nicely pre-measured and just perfectly ready instead of trying to build a disaster from scratch? May the deities above, if they existed, bless his stomach and grant him the power to make it out of this without a case of... well, things that would keep him in the bathroom longer than usual. But knowing the potency of the force that was Cal and Julie... he was not very hopeful. Oh, no, not at all. The Force was not with him. |
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Post by JULIETTE DUBOIS on Nov 15, 2013 7:09:27 GMT -8
And Julie took the salt and dumped a healthy amount into her... uh... creation. Let's see, milk, eggs, flour, tomatoes, salt, aaand apples. Yup, this was shaping up to be a beautiful batch of pancakes. Bailey would have nothing to complain about once he got a taste of this. Cal's comment about hallucinating was met with a snort of laughter from her. "Nope, I'm good." She replied cheerily, mixing the ingredients together with a spatula. Now, where did that old takeout go...?
"Definitely the wind." She said with a firm nod, before throwing some of the musty... whatever this was into the mix, and tossing the box back onto the counter. Woah boy, that smelled nasty. The blonde grabbed the tabasco sauce and began to pour that in as well. Maybe it'd mask the smell. Who knows. Hopefully it would, because she was starting to think the spaghetti was going to ruin everything. Damn you, spaghetti!
As she continued stirring the extremely lumpy and extremely suspicious looking, err, "pancake mix," Julie turned to Cal with a puzzled expression on her face. "But what if they were a sexy vampire? Would you still not fuck them?" She asked, head titled to one side. Because vampires were technically dead, so if you fucked them you literally were fucking the dead, right? She was pretty sure that's how it worked. So all those stories about people screwing vampires were actually tales about necrophilia. Amazing what you can learn in this day and age.
She frowned in concentration as she brought her attention back to her mixture. Yup, this was juuust about ready. Turning the stove on, Julie turned to Cal and handed him the pan and spatula with a solemn expression. "It is ready." This was the most important part of the operation: the baking of the pancakes. She was entrusting this task to Callum, so she could go crash on his couch. He better not fuck it up.
And then she beamed at him, as she announced, cheerfully, "And I'm taking a nap! Wake me up when it's time to feed the whale." And with that, she skipped out of the kitchen, but not before first patting Bailey on the head. Poor guy, he was making all kind of dying whale noises. He must be really, really hungry! She made her way over to their couch, and proceeded to flop down face first into the cushions. She fell asleep almost immediately, and so she missed all of the ensuing chaos.
~*Sweet Dreams*~ |
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CALLUM SNOW
Civilian
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never gonna give you up!
Posts: 137
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Post by CALLUM SNOW on Nov 15, 2013 7:40:21 GMT -8
This was all starting to smell terrible, which of course meant that Julie and Cal had further succeeded in making a twisted creation of the highest order. Some day they would discover or create a new species, and become famous. But until the day that they achieved fame and fortune and were afforded a Nobel Prize, he would have to settle for tormenting their favorite whale. Not that he was complaining about it, of course.
This was what he called true friendship.
"I'm not sure about the vampires. I mean, [redacted for mature content]," Cal said with a completely serious look on his face. Because you never knew what would happen if vampires sucked blood, and where they would suck your blood from. After Twilight, everything he knew was completely destroyed. But never mind that! Cal leaned over, peering over Julie's shoulder to see the pancake mix. He frowned, watching as she stirred the pasta in, before turning to her with a completely serious look on his face.
"When ur mum come home and maek the spaghetti."
Yes, that was the way he agreed to bake the pancakes. It was the bro code. Only the two of them would understand it. Bailey probably did too, whether he wanted to or not. But never mind that. Cal turned on the stove, setting the pan on top of it. He waved as Julie bounced out of the kitchen, before glancing at Bailey. A decidedly evil smile crept onto his face as he started pouring the mix into the pan.
"It's breakfast time, motherfucker!"
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