CIVILIAN . DUBOIS, JULIETTE

FEMALE

PANSEXUAL

TWENTY-TWO

MARCH 23 1990

AMERICAN

ENGLISH, (some) FRENCH

JULIE, JUJU, JULES

0.5

Civilian

N/A

N/A

N/A

KNIGHT

KRISTEN MAYOR
GABRIELLE ALBERTS
ELISE MILNER

HIGH

MIKI HOSHII - THE iDOLM@STER

She comes from an upper class family in New York City, New York, but cut off all communication with them when she left for California. Not that she really communicated with them in the first place anyway, but just to make it clear: they don't know where she is, and have no way of contacting her. She's currently sharing a flat with her boyfriend, Colin, in Los Angeles. The place is pretty small, but it's fine since they're both hobbits and don't need a lot of space anyway. As long as Colin stops bringing books home.

Student - A junior majoring in Mathematics at UCLA. She's that pretty blonde who sits in the back of class and goofs off during lectures, but then somehow manages to pull an A out of her ass by the end of the semester. Everyone's positive it's witchcraft.

Tutor - Sometimes. She's gifted in math, and can help anyone from 2nd grade algebra to college calculus. She loves tutoring around finals week, as desperate students don't care how much they're paying as long as someone 'helps me understand this gibberish, oh god why did I decide to take this class, I can't even add without using my fingers.'

Bartender - She's worked many jobs since she graduated from high school, but bartending is the one that suits her needs best for now. She's currently employed in downtown LA at a rooftop bar and nightclub. The hours are flexible, the pay is good, and the tips are fantastic, but the gauging questions and lingering stares aren't appreciated.

Could be worse though, right?

Tall, dark, and handome... just kidding. Standing at a whopping 5'2" and weighing just a little over 110 lbs Julie is, to put it bluntly, petite. She's tiny and she knows it, and does not need it rubbed in her face, thank you very much. Don't let her height fool you though; she's perfectly capable of taking care of herself. Her muscles are toned from a regular no-I-am-not-going-to-just-skip-the-gym-today-are-you-kidding-me exercise regime, and as a result she could easily outrun most people.

Her hair is a wild mess of blonde locks that tangle down her back, often worn down but occasionally put in a braid or ponytail when it's being especially unruly. And that's not even mentioning her messy bangs. She cuts her hair herself, as she doesn't trust most hairdressers to style it just right. She has pale skin that burns to a red crisp in the summer, as well as bright green eyes that reflect nothing but mischief, that are accented by long lashes and crinkles when she smiles. (And, occasionally, dark circles and heavy bags.) Add a button nose and soft lips, and you've got a pretty face that belies an intelligent individual.

Smiles come in two different shades for Julie- she has one that she wears for just about everyone, strangers and friends alike. It's friendly but guarded, inviting but distant, and can fool anyone who doesn't know better. The other one, however, is reserved for only a special few, and it could cure cancer and melt glaciers.

She pays attention to her looks- she's a pretty girl, after all, she's not going to deny it. She can't leave the house without checking a mirror first; if she's running late, she'll forgo breakfast entirely in order to put on some make-up before rushing out the door. A little mascara there, a dab of lip gloss there, and she's all set to face the world. Her appearance is important to her- it's the first thing people notice about you, you know. While she doesn't pay attention to the current fashion trends, she does like dressing herself up. Her wardrobe consists mostly of dresses, the occasional skirt, a few jeans and a couple of polo shirts, all in a wide variety of colors. She loves shoes a lot, and has several different pairs of sandals, boots, flats, and sneakers.

(spunky) She is stronger than she looks, and in more ways than one. She is not fragile. She is not weak. Julie is resilient; she can handle most anything that's thrown her way. She may crack, but she will not break. She’s always going to bounce back from whatever life throws at her- albeit a little more cautious, a little more guarded, though never the worse for wear. She learns from her mistakes and grows from them; 'fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me.' She’s not afraid to call people out on their contradictions, and will offer biting sarcasm to anyone who deserves it, whether they're friend or foe. She faces adversary with a grin and adds insult to injury; she is a force to be reckoned with.

(cheerful) She can come off as carefree at times, especially with those bright eyes and that sunny smile. Which she doesn’t mind, not really- let people think what they want. An important thing to note, however, is that her cheer is oftentimes a ruse. She can say one thing but mean another, and be thinking something different from either. She is not a ray of sunshine every hour of the day. People let their guards down around her, and she uses that to her advantage. She is optimistic but practical, a realist at heart who doesn't take anything for granted.

(smart) And oh, how she is smart. She is far more intelligent than most people give her credit for, and for good reason. She makes an effort to hide her intellect; she hides behind fake smiles and fluttering lashes, but when push comes to shove Julie can be devious in her way of thinking. Her cunning is often wasted on pranks and shenanigans, looking for a laugh or two as a result of a joke, but given the right incentive she can be downright brutal at times. The last thing you’ll want to do is underestimate her, because rest assured, you’ll regret it immensely.

(outgoing) She is a social butterfly; she can start and hold conversations with ease. She knows the ins and outs of interaction, and can navigate parties like an old pro. She likes being out and about, whether it’s running errands or just walking around, and will fill up her day with things to do so she’s out of the house. Spontaneity is her lifeblood, and she’ll gladly throw plans out the window in favor of doing something else. In fact, dragging acquaintances on adventures is one of her pastimes. But while she’s quick to make friends, opening up to others is another thing entirely, and it can take months for her to trust the people she talks to daily.

(independent) She can take care of herself. She grew up looking out for herself first and foremost, after all, why would she ever need someone else’s help? She is perfectly capable of handling things on her own, thank you very much, but it was kind of you to offer. Oftentimes, while it may be glaringly obvious she does need help, she’ll still refuse it anyway, much to the exasperation of everyone around her. Her pride ties her tongue into knots, but she’s gotten better over time. She’ll still stubbornly refuse aid, but will eventually give in in the end; she’s not an idiot.

(wary) She is not quick to trust, by any stretch of the imagination. While she is perfectly friendly to everyone she meets, she finds it difficult to open up to most people. Ask her prying questions, and you can be sure she’ll retort with either sarcasm or sass. She’d like to be able to trust others, she really would, but people have let her down in the past- and while over time she’s slowly gotten better, she’s always going to be a little guarded, a little jaded. Once you've managed to squirm your way into her heart, however, you couldn't ask for a more loyal friend.

(distant) She’s always felt isolated from others, as outgoing as she is. Everyone has been kept at arms’ length at all times, for as long as she can remember. Connections are difficult for her to make and even harder to keep, so often she finds it’s easier to simply not get emotionally invested in other people at all. She may offer a sympathetic ear or a shoulder to cry on, but she keeps a wall around her heart that keeps everyone out. While friends might feel like they can confess to her, she can’t say as much about them. She’s slowly thawing little by little though, and has found that she can open up to others, albeit over a long period of time.

(volatile) She has a temper that doesn't show itself too often, but when she gets mad, she gets livid. Her anger is an explosion: devastating. It blows up without warning, and takes days, weeks, even months sometimes to dissipate. There are few things that manage to piss her off, but the short list includes bad drivers and animal abuse. She can rant for hours about something that happened months ago, or burst for about a minute over something that happened an hour ago. Any and everyone can be the recipient of her outbursts, from the offender to some hapless victim. A good rule of thumb: don't get on her bad side. Ever.

(impatient) She can't wait for anything. Patience isn’t a virtue for Julie; she tends to rush things, to cut corners in order to skip ahead to the ending quicker. She gets bored with waiting and tired of hanging around. She is constantly looking for something to do, for something to pass the time and occupy her thoughts. She loves working and feeling productive, so long as she’s not stuck in her own head. She’ll overwork herself and stay up for days without sleep if you let her- her stress levels will be through the roof before she’ll admit she needs to take a break.

(vain) She likes to look pretty. There's nothing wrong with wanting to look good. She’s been aware of her looks from a young age, and as a result is self-conscious about how she looks. She can’t leave the house without looking in a mirror and putting on some makeup, it’s simply impossible for her. Don’t get her wrong, she’s not narcissistic- she just grew up knowing first impressions are often lasting, and she’s not about to let the world see her unless she’s looking her best.

the beginning

Let's start with a love story.

Once upon a time, a man was in England on business. He had a one night stand with a woman while he was there, but never expected to hear from her again. He was a high profile businessman though, and it wasn't hard for her to find him after he returned to the States. When she met him again, she told him that she was pregnant with his child. With his hands tied, the man asked her to marry him, and they went on to have a lovely wedding, an okay honeymoon, and a dull marriage. The woman had a beautiful baby girl, and they all lived happily ever after… except this isn't a fairy tale.

(Okay, it wasn't much of a love story, but it sets the stage.)

Juliette grew up in a sorry excuse for a home. Oh, don't get her wrong, the living accommodations were more than adequate. You could even say they were exceptional. A high-rise apartment in the center of New York City, New York, was hardly something to sneeze at. But when your father buried himself in his work, and your mother often left you in the care of a nanny who spent more time asleep in front of the TV then actually doing her job, well, where you live doesn't really matter too much. Especially to a child.

(The TV was a poor substitute for bedtime stories and goodnight kisses.)

At times, one or both of her parents would be home, and Julie could actually feel like she was part of a family. A family that rarely traded a word between them, never mind actually speaking to each other, but a family nonetheless. Julie came to discover, much to her chagrin, that her parents rarely had time for her even when they were at home. It wasn't right; the parents on TV always made time for their kids. Sometimes, they even canceled important business meetings just to spend them with them! Why couldn't her parents do the same? Every time she asked, it was always the same excuses.

'Daddy's busy, go play with mommy.'

'Mommy has to run, Ju, go watch TV.'

(Later, she'd realize that TV wasn't real life, and her parents simply didn't care.)

Living your childhood ignored by the people who were supposed to love you no matter what can do things to a kid. School only made matters worse; Julie felt isolated from the kids in her class. She could never really connect, never really form lasting friendships with any of the children she met. She came to keep her distance, content to watch rather than play. It wasn't so bad; she was used to being ignored. But she craved what they had- she wanted what they had. She wanted friends too- she wanted a family too.

(Imagine making a Mother's Day card for a woman who was never home.)

So she learned how to play pretend. She learned how to be outgoing, to make people like her. And if they didn't like her, they weren't worth her time. She learned how to smile, she learned how to laugh, she learned how to pretend to be someone else in order to make friends. It was easy, once you got the hang of it; she could wrap them around her finger with just the right words, with just the right curl of her lips. But they weren't really friends- as hard as she might try, Julie still couldn't connect with any of them. Her friendships were as fake as her grins, but she learned how to ignore the loneliness.

(The feeling that she didn't really belong.)

the middle

Middle school found Julie moving up the social ladder; by high school she was at the top. She wasn't quite the queen of the school, but she was certainly in the court. She had perfected her smiles, and forged a mask that no one could see through. She was that popular girl everyone knew but no one was really friends with, not even the people she called her friends. She opened up to no one, she revealed nothing about herself to anyone, and she kept her feelings under lock and key. She became a master of her emotions, an actress with a part to play. Acquaintances were never allowed to become any more than just that: acquaintances. Her friends knew about as much about her as she'd let them see.

(She was untouchable.)

The loneliness was staggering though- it consumed her. She wanted to love and be loved, but no one at home would give her the time of day, and she kept all of her friends at arms’ length. If she really wanted to, she could have reached out- she could have made an effort to open up to others, to make more substantial friendships than just what was at face value. But she had an ingrained fear that the moment she started to be herself, to speak her mind and voice her thoughts, people would turn their backs on her, and she’d be even more alone than she had been to begin with. She needed something to turn all eyes on her, to make people look at her and give her the attention she wanted so badly.

(She didn't want to just be popular anymore.)

It started small. She failed a math test, something she could have aced easily if she wanted to. Julie had always gotten good grades before then, so to suddenly flunk a math test, and an important one at that, was enough for her teacher to call home. That was just the beginning. Now that she had a way to get her parents to pay attention to her, however fleeting it might be, Julie began to do more and more. She backtalked teachers, skipped class, cut school; she was in a downward spiral. She fell into the wrong crowd of kids, she tried smoking, she stayed out late and went to parties and came home in the early hours of the morning. Who was to stop her? Her parents certainly weren't. She didn't even talk to them anymore.

(It was all a feeble bid for her parents’ attention, and it failed.)

Once she started though, she couldn't stop. She got swept up in a way of life she wasn't interested in nor wanted, but she felt trapped; like if she tried to change, if she tried to leave it all behind, she was going to fail. Suddenly, the limelight wasn't so appealing, but what she could do? She certainly couldn't ask for help, that was out of the question. She had grown up looking out for herself, after all. Always putting herself first and foremost. She could never admit she needed help, she was too prideful for that. As bad as it might get, she was never going to admit that she was lost, alone, helpless, small, and scared. She truly believed she had her life under control, despite failing grades and meetings with the principal. When she was asked by the school counselor what was going on, she always had an answer on her lips.

'I'm fine, I'm fine.'

(When you tell a lie often enough, even you begin to believe it.)

In her junior year of high school, her parents separated. No papers, no custody battles, no lawyers; her mom just up and left one morning. What semblance of family she had had left was now effectively shattered. She was overwhelmed by a feeling of betrayal, but she wasn't really betrayed. After all, she should have known by now: her parents didn't care. Of course her mom was going to walk away from them one day; of course she was going to leave Julie behind. It still came as a shock though, like a punch to the gut, and for a while she felt like a fish out of water. The make believe world she had been living in in her head crumbled all around her, and it finally became glaringly obvious that she was alone, and the only one who was going to help her was herself.

(If her mom could leave so easily, then why couldn't she?)

Julie cut herself off from the crowd of friends she had surrounded herself with and walked away. She replaced drinking with studying and late night parties with video games. She was alone now more than ever, but she wasn't afraid of the loneliness anymore. She could deal with this. She could move on from this. She immersed herself in pulling her grades and GPA up, taking summer classes and remedial exams in order to graduate with the rest of her class. Despite what her teachers might have said, she had always been a smart girl, she just didn't have the motivation. Now she did. She was going to graduate and get as far away from New York as she possibly could, and she was going to do it all by herself.

(She didn't need anybody.)

She graduated, but scholarships weren't enough to pay for her plans. She had to take a year off after high school, in order to earn the money she needed to move to the other side of the country. She continued to live in her dad’s apartment, but only so she wouldn't have to use the money she saved up to move out. That money was for college so she could leave for good; she had been waiting all these years, she could wait a little longer. But she began to wonder if her dad even knew she lived there anymore. She wondered if he even noticed his wife was gone. A year of working two jobs and scrounging up scholarships later, Julie could finally leave her life behind and start anew in Los Angeles.

(There was only one pause at the door before she left for good; she never looked back.)

the end...?

Upon moving into the college dorm that fall, Julie tried not to fall back into her distrusting ways again. She really did. But old habits are hard to break, and she was still as bad as ever. She was all smiles and cheer, but she still couldn't quite connect with any of the people around her. It was starting to take it's toll on her; she was exhausted all the time, and was starting to wonder if this was such a good idea after all. What if she couldn't do this---

(And then she fell for a boy who tasted like tea and loved old books.)

It wasn't love at first sight; far from it. They met online a few months before she left for California, and became fast friends through a video game Julie had been playing for years. She beat him every time, much to his chagrin, and they traded insults and banter that they both knew didn't really mean anything. With a computer screen between her and him, she could be more open, more honest, and for once she met someone she actually felt something for. Upon finding out they were both in California, they decided to meet up one day, and the rest was history. A few months after they met, he asked her out, she said yes, and they've been dating ever since- almost 2 years now.

(Her eyes saved his life.)

2 years can change a girl, given the right setting and the right person. With hundreds of miles between her and her old life, Julie turned over a new leaf and started anew. With the help of her boyfriend, she slowly but surely got better at opening up to people, at trusting them not to abandon her in her times of need. She has become so much better than she was, and she'd be lying if she said it wasn't thanks to him; she owes him a lot, but she'd rather die than admit it.

(And for the first time in her life, she felt at home.)