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Post by LUCIEN MARGAUX on Aug 26, 2013 20:44:22 GMT -8
He had slept badly--tossing and turning in the night, the phone on his nightstand seeming to taunt him. He dreamed of home, a particularly horrible dream where everything was normal, exactly as it should have been, until he started waking up--realizing it was all wrong before it vanished in a snap, and he woke covered in sweat. He had felt disgusting, and despite it only being 6am, he'd dragged himself out of bed and headed to shower.
When the sweat was off him he'd felt better, and he dressed carefully in his robe before emerging from the room. It was just before seven when he made his way into the living area, and he wasn't terribly surprised to find Kun Shui was up already. The events of the previous night weighed on him, but he tried to smile despite it. The phone was back in his room, left exactly where he'd set it after erasing the number.
"Good morning Kun Shui. Did you eat already?" Probably not.
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Post by KUN SHUI WEI on Aug 27, 2013 20:26:41 GMT -8
tagged: Lucien Margaux time: May 13th. 7AM. speech: kun shui. notes: - - - Kun Shui had woken up fairly early, possibly earlier than he usually did because the headache woke him up in the middle of the night. He had to take down a few more painkillers before he went back to sleep, and then he got up early because the stress was causing him to be unable to do so. The point was still sitting in his head; why hadn't Lucien called? Should he have cared, if he hadn't? Less work for him... But he'd dialed, which meant he had the intention of calling, but he hadn't.
So he sat in the living room with a mug of coffee in one hand and a newspaper in the other, reading through his usual articles and hoping to get his mind off things. The coffee did calm him, but just a little. He was just beginning to drift when he saw Lucien come down out of the corner of his eye. He was wearing a long robe, and his hair was down, as usual. He'd grown to like his hair, and any previous suggestion of cutting it was forgotten.
"Good morning." Quiet, glancing up at him for only a second before he looked back down and went back to his reading.
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Post by LUCIEN MARGAUX on Aug 28, 2013 15:28:23 GMT -8
tagged: kun shui. time: same. notes: notes. He seemed... quiet. Thinner maybe. It was hard to tell exactly which aspect of Kun Shui's present demeanor was throwing him off. Was it the way he was sitting? The fact that he'd ignored Lucien's question? There were too many things that were throwing him off, and he forced himself to take a deep breath before carefully sitting down across from Kun Shui at the table.
"Are you feeling well?" It felt like a strangely forward question. A few weeks ago he'd never have even considered asking it, and yet there he was, asking it anyway. He was worried--vaguely concerned something had gone wrong. His own worries, nightmares included, had been forgotten--pushed aside and replaced with concern for Kun Shui instead.
He also took the liberty of repeating his question. "Did you already eat?" |
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Post by KUN SHUI WEI on Aug 30, 2013 17:41:32 GMT -8
tagged: Lucien Margaux time: May 13th. 7AM. speech: kun shui. notes: - - - Kun Shui seemed to be back to reading rather quickly, glancing down at his paper and trying to focus once again. Some vague business about the stock markets that he’d invested in going up, thankfully. The Wei company was having issues taking root in America because of the hesitance of people investing in foreign businesses. Damn it; there was no sense of risk, now was there?
That was when Lucien spoke up again, but this time, he barely glanced at him. Why hadn’t he hit the call button? Why was he so concerned about why Lucien hadn’t decided to call? If he had, it’d cause a world of trouble, perhaps a full on war with the other side, but nothing that he thought he couldn’t handle.
”Yes, I’m feeling fine.” Which was a huge lie, but what else would he have said? He had a headache that had lasted more than two days now, business was slower than planned in America and Lucien had just about called home or something that could’ve caused a wholes mess of trouble the night that Kun Shui had taken the liberty of giving him a cellphone.
As for eating… ”No, I haven’t eaten yet.” Kun Shui had an odd tendency to stop eating when he was stressed, and damn it, he was stressed right now. |
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Post by LUCIEN MARGAUX on Sept 4, 2013 13:50:52 GMT -8
tagged: kun shui. time: same. notes: notes. He was lying. Lucien was almost entirely sure of that, entirely confident that no, Kun Shui was not fine. It was obvious in every single thing he did, every movement, every word. Lucien had always been good at reading people, but this was something else entirely--Kun Shui was different, and after spending the past two weeks with him almost twelve hours every day, he was familiar enough with how he acted.
This wasn't how he acted, and Lucien made a little 'hm' noise. It wouldn't take a genius to realize he didn't believe it, but the power difference was too great for him to explicitly say it. There was no way he could call him on the mile high wall of bullshit he'd built up--all he could do was make his little hm and settle in for breakfast.
"We can eat together then." He said with a little nod towards the kitchen. As if he'd been waiting in the wings, the chef emerged--setting down a full plate in front of each of them before returning to the kitchen to keep up. Lucien gave Kun Shui a thin, strained little smile before taking a bite of his food.
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Post by KUN SHUI WEI on Sept 4, 2013 16:28:13 GMT -8
tagged: Lucien Margaux time: May 13th. 7AM. speech: kun shui. notes: - - - Kun Shui had a rather horrible tendency to just stop necessary functions when he became stressed, namely eating. Sleeping was scarce when he was pacing, but he almost stopped eating entirely when he was put under pressure and today was one of those days. Lucien noticed, of course, how distressed he happened to be. He didn't acknowledge it further than a faint 'hm' sound, but it was still there.
Kun Shui didn't say anything further. He only very briefly glanced up when the chef finally brought the plates of food out, and already they looked somewhat unappetizing to him. Kun Shui didn’t even notice Lucien smiling, let alone how strained it seemed to be. At the moment, he was a hundred percent stewing in his own head.
He folded his newspaper very briefly, picking up a fork and taking a bite. It tasted like cardboard to him, and his jaw clenched almost painfully tight. He swallowed, but he did look slightly uncomfortable doing so. Damn it, he should probably stop, but for a good measure, Kun Shui took another bite anyways.
Well… that was enough for breakfast, now was it. He put his fork down with a sigh. |
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Post by LUCIEN MARGAUX on Sept 5, 2013 12:11:29 GMT -8
tagged: kun shui. time: same. notes: notes. Lucien was watching. He was watching very, very closely, because he was slowly becoming very, very worried. Kun Shui was never very talkative to begin with, but this was even quieter then usual. Generally he'd make some slight small talk, perhaps tell Lucien what he'd be doing that day. Was he going to be around for lunch? Did they have any plans for what they were going to do? Instead he got nothing--nothing but two small bites before he gave up. It looked like someone was making Kun Shui eat tacks by the way he ate. He just looked so annoyed by it.
He really couldn't hold it in. There was only so much he could manage, and after taking three or four bites of his own food, he cleared his throat and set his fork down. "It's obvious there's something wrong." Which was just about the most obvious statement since 'the sky is blue'. "I just... want you to know that you can talk about it if you want."
Lucien was the perfect sounding post. He had been through much of what Kun Shui had before, but was long divorced from it. He was nonthreatening, and had absolutely no one to tell. Kun Shui was the closest thing to a friend, if he could be counted at all, and the only person he spoke to for anything more then smalltalk. |
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Post by KUN SHUI WEI on Sept 9, 2013 19:40:31 GMT -8
tagged: Lucien Margaux time: May 13th. 7AM. speech: kun shui. notes: - - - The food was drab. Well, it was what he’d requested, but it was drab because he didn’t feel like eating. Stress tightened his jaw and made him feel like throwing up more often than not, despite his job. Damn it, the fit wasn’t very good, was it? Well, he was in too deep to back off now. He had to envy Jun Shi for that sometimes; he could go do whatever the hell he wanted, tied down by nothing but family he didn’t care about.
He wasn’t even reading the paper when Lucien snapped him out of his thoughts. He glanced up, head tilted to the side in curiousity. Oh, he was being that obvious, was he? Well, it probably just wasn’t his day. Still, Lucien was technically stepping out of line by asking him. Jun Shi would’ve likely given him a firm smack just for that.
But Kun Shui was a little softer than his twin. He pressed his lips together for a second before speaking, not even bothering to fold up his newspaper. ”Where’s the phone I gave you?” |
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Post by LUCIEN MARGAUX on Sept 9, 2013 20:34:40 GMT -8
tagged: name. time: date & time. notes: notes. He had gone out of line. He'd never really tested the bounds of his new existence, never pushed against the few rules he'd been given. Strictly speaking he hadn't even been given most of his rules. They had been implied. He had never been told not to talk back to Kun Shui, never been told that he was to be quiet, to speak when spoken to in the average conversation. It had simply come as a given. He knew the rules because he'd so often enforced them on others, and the only thing he didn't know was how Kun Shui would react. Thus far he'd been fairly accepting--he'd let him go out, let him stay on the balcony, given his own room... he'd been kind. He didn't know how he would react, and now it seemed he was about to find out. His stomach churned uncomfortable, unprepared for what was coming. Was he going to take it away? Was he going to remove it, insist that he stayed in the room for the next few days? His face fell, and he hesitated.
"It's in my room." He responded, and when Kun Shui told him to get it, he stood, his stomach sinking even more. He slunk off, returning a short while later with the phone cupped in his good hand. In a lot of ways he was like a kicked puppy, or a child whose parents had just told them they were disappointed. He didn't think Kun Shui would physically hurt him, but confining him would be a whole other kind of torment. He didn't even want to let it go, but after a long, long moment, he passed it over.
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Post by KUN SHUI WEI on Sept 14, 2013 17:01:43 GMT -8
tagged: Lucien Margaux time: May 13th. 7AM. speech: kun shui. notes: - - - Lucien probably didn’t know that the phone had a tracker on it, and he probably didn’t realize that it sent all numbers to him. Hell, he could tap into that thing if he wanted, record him and have it streamed back to his own phone. Still, Lucien’s daily life didn’t interest him so much as knowing that he’d considered calling home. He’d remembered the phone number, from two years ago when the business threatened to boil over into a gang war and he held Lucien in a tower.
Lucien scampered off to get it, and Kun Shui took a last sip of his tea before folding his newspaper up and setting it on the table. He didn’t take long and didn’t stall, at least. He was back soon enough, cell phone in hand, and took just a few seconds to hand it over.
Kun Shui looked calm as anything as he looked down at the phone in his hand; the model was fairly old, enough that it flipped open. A plain screen, with nothing on it. The internet was disabled, so there wasn’t a choice for that. The background was simple, a single textured colour, and nothing more.
His expression didn’t change at all as he took the top half in one hand, the bottom in the other and twisted.
The phone resisted for just a second, then came apart at the hinges, crumbling in his hands and snapping in two. The screen flickered for just a second, then the various wires disconnected and it went black. Kun Shui calmly placed the remaining bits of phone down on the table, and then looked up at Lucien expectantly. |
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Post by LUCIEN MARGAUX on Sept 14, 2013 18:07:16 GMT -8
tagged: name. time: date & time. notes: notes. In the end, he didn't really know what he was expecting at all. Would he take it away? Forbid him from going outside? Question what he'd done with it so far? Did the phone have logs? Would he find out about the almost-call? It was making his stomach twist, a painful tight little knot he couldn't ignore, and he swallowed hard as Kun Shui took the phone with him.
Whatever he was expecting, it wasn't that. Kun Shui had never shown anger to him before, and even if he was't yelling, wasn't furious, it was still obvious that was what it was. Cold, unrestrained fury. He was angry. He would do what he wanted, and Lucien needed a reminder of his place. That was what it was. That was what the whole thing was--a reminder of his place, that he lived or died by Kun Shui's whim, and that Kun Shui didn't need Lucien talking back to him when he'd said he was fine.
None of that mattered in the long run. Even if Lucien knew logically what was happening, what he felt was something else entirely. Every so often he felt the tiniest glimmer of hope--that he'd feel some kind of freedom, that he'd have a life of his own, or anything. Every time he felt it, it was simply smashed down again. Lucien had no idea that Kun Shui knew about the call, and as far as he was concerned, everything that had just happened was a result of him speaking out of turn--the result of him trying to speak like friends, rather then as hostage and keeper.
He felt tears burn at the corners of his eyes, and he did his best to hold them in. The phone didn't even matter so much as what it represented. Things were never going to get better. They were going to stay exactly as they were, and he should be thankful for even that. His shoulders sagged, eyes falling to the floor to hide his embarrassment and shame.
"Could I... could I please be excused?" Excused back to his room, the one place he had any privacy. It didn't even feel safe there though. After all, Jun Shi had found him there before, and Lucien had little doubt he'd find him there again. |
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Post by KUN SHUI WEI on Sept 14, 2013 18:31:09 GMT -8
tagged: Lucien Margaux time: May 13th. 7AM. speech: kun shui. notes: - - - Kun Shui was rather hard to rile up, and it was very difficult to get him angry to any sort of degree. That’s why he’d been picked as the next Dragon Head over his twin brother; the aggression was a good thing to have, but cold calm was much better when dealing with the triad. It was like business; brute force wouldn’t win you a favour, so to speak.
Lucien seemed to be stunned into place for several seconds as he snapped the phone, and realistically, Kun Shui hadn’t expected much more. What a lamb he’d become. A frightened little thing that couldn’t stand on his own legs because he’d been beaten down so many times. It was a far cry from what he used to be, and he supposed it was partially his fault.
”No.” Request denied, simple as that. He was lucky that he acknowledged the question at all. Kun Shui sat back, one leg crossed over another as he looked him over. He didn’t quite care if he was shaking, or if he was about to cry or any of those things.
”Tell me something, Lucien…” His voice was cold, almost distant, but very quiet. ”What do I have to give you, to get you to sit still and stop fucking things up? Just for a little while, so I can get some peace?” He’d spent the night before obsessively checking his phone, even during the dinner, making sure he wasn’t calling anybody. His headache was pounding him behind the eyes. |
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Post by LUCIEN MARGAUX on Sept 14, 2013 18:42:48 GMT -8
tagged: name. time: date & time. notes: notes. No. No explanation or anything--just a 'no'. Whatever anger he'd expected, he'd vastly underestimated it. Kun Shui was angry. He wasn't going to let him go back to his room, to cry and snivel and remind himself just how pathetic he was. Instead he seemed to feel the need to remind Lucien just how much of a waste of space he really was.
He needn't have bothered. No one knew that better then Lucien himself. He was scum, the very worst of scum. He'd hurt people and destroyed their lives, and he'd done so indiscriminately in the name of sheer simple power. He could, and so he had. There hadn't been anything beyond that. Only now he couldn't, and other people had turned his own habits onto him. Even what Kun Shui was doing, the cold voiced jabs, were better then he deserved. He deserved Jun Shi, and only his low tolerance for pain had kept him from curling up and accepting his fate. He had before though--he'd accepted what he'd been given, and it was only that tiny little dot of hope that had ruined things.
He hated that little dot of hope. He really did. He hated that it was there, that he couldn't just push it away. It would be easier without it. Easier if he could just ignore it, had just accepted his lot in life and taken Jun Shi as the punishment he deserved. Instead he'd shoved him away and tried for something better, and now he was paying for it.
The tiny tears threatened to run over, and he reached up, rubbing at his eyes quickly with one hand. He didn't want to cry. He was trying his hardest not to, but it was difficult just the same. Even forming an answer was difficult, the sort of thing that took all his focused. His voice was little more then a croak when he did respond.
"I'm sorry. I know - I know I'm pathetic." That he ruined anything he touched. He'd done his best to be a good housemate, to stay out of Kun Shui's way and do what he could. He had thought--at least for a brief while--that Kun Shui had liked him. That they could almost be equals, at least when they were alone together. Instead he'd been deluding himself. Kun Shui hated him, just as he should have, and he was never goign to be anything more then a nuisance, an ungrateful waste of space. |
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Post by KUN SHUI WEI on Sept 14, 2013 19:30:00 GMT -8
tagged: Lucien Margaux time: May 13th. 7AM. speech: kun shui. notes: - - - Another reason he’d been picked over his brother was his sheer ability to be so unmoved. He didn’t let emotion dictate him, and that was for the better. Nothing personal would get in his way, and nothing but family was worth it, as he’d been taught. There was no feeling bad for Lucien; at least, not right away. He was consumed by himself at the moment, and there was no need to really consider him at all. Why would he? He was only a little pawn in a game that had outgrown him.
His sniveling wasn’t going to help him. Hell, at this point, getting on his knees and grovelling wouldn’t help him. A cold fury didn’t warm up after a couple of minutes, after all. Pathetic, indeed. He just stood there, doing little to even try to defend himself, though he supposed that was wise of him. Kun Shui didn’t like getting physical, so to speak. That didn’t mean he was helpless; years of martial arts training ‘just in case’ did help him out in that regard, and he doubted Lucien would resist too terribly if he just swung at him.
Tempting. Sorely tempting.
”Just tell me. What else do you want? I’ve tried to provide for you as best as I could. I’ve given you food, your own room, books…” Freedom, to some extent. ”All things considered, I’ve been good to you. So why, for the love of god, do you insist on running around and stirring up shit? It would’ve been all out war if Lucien had called last night. |
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Post by LUCIEN MARGAUX on Sept 14, 2013 19:35:38 GMT -8
tagged: name. time: date & time. notes: notes. He didn't understand anymore. He had thought it was because of what he'd said, but it simply didn't make sense. That was being insolent. It was being out of line. It didn't have anything to do with stirring up trouble. Sure, he had irritated him. He'd broken the rules. But even in Lucien's own twisted and self-depreciating logic, he couldn't understand how it could be taken as stirring up trouble.
He wasn't sure if he wanted to point that out. It felt like a trap, like a trick. Like even asking what Kun Shui was talking about would only make him angrier.
After a moment, however, Lucien decided it didn't matter. If Kun Shui hurt him--if he threw him out, or even worse, threw him to Jun Shi, it wouldn't matter. It would only be what he deserved. The tears hadn't quite run over yet, even if they were perilously close to doing so. He was trying to maintain what little spine he had, to not simply crumble where he was and beg for forgiveness.
To be forgiven, he had to at least understand what was happening. He couldn't avoid upsetting him without understanding why he'd upset him in the first place. If he didn't find out, it would just keep going on, over and over.
"I... I don't understand what I did." He didn't know why he was mad, and he was fully expecting to be slapped across the face for simply saying as much. |
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Post by KUN SHUI WEI on Sept 14, 2013 19:53:54 GMT -8
tagged: Lucien Margaux time: May 13th. 7AM. speech: kun shui. notes: - - - Lucien needed it spelled out letter by letter, didn’t he? But of course he wouldn’t understand; logically speaking, if Kun Shui had been calmer, he’d have realized that Lucien didn’t know he could tap his phone. A little too late for it, at that point. Kun Shui made a faint sound in the back of his throat, but it didn’t sound pleased. Oh no, he was usually a very vocal sort of person about his displeasure, and Lucien was one of them for today.
Instead, he stood up. It wasn’t abrupt; in fact, it was a little slow. He was on his feet, glaring down at Lucien as if he could burn him or stun him with just his glare. ”Of course you don’t know what you’ve done wrong.” He’d done wrong all his life and he wasn’t expecting him to gain that insight overnight.
”Do you even realize what you could have caused, Lucien?” His voice rose just a bit. Just enough to get his point across that he was quite angry and it wasn’t going to stop in the foreseeable future. ”For once, this isn’t about you. This is about your father saving his own ass and his pride, and throwing a couple hundred men into it and letting them die because you can’t just leave things well enough alone isn’t worth it.” |
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Post by LUCIEN MARGAUX on Sept 14, 2013 20:41:31 GMT -8
tagged: name. time: date & time. notes: notes. He expected Kun Shui to hit him. He was so close. Standing was just a step in that direction. Standing was just the precursor to hitting him, to slapping him for what he'd done. He slid back an inch, eyes down at the floor. He actually considered running, considered bolting out the door. It would get him anywhere though. There was no where to run to, nowhere to go. There was no shelter, no safety.
At the very least he began to understand as Kun Shui's voice rose. The call. He didn't know how he knew, but it was obvious enough what he was talking about now. Only it wasn't a call. It was an almost call. He was about to be hit for something he hadn't even done--for something he'd been so horribly, horribly tempted by and had resisted.
"I didn't." He was trying to protest. A stupid, pointless sentiment, and he was just waiting for a fist to fly. "I didn't call because I knew it would ruin things. I knew it would cause trouble and I didn't want that." He had done exactly what Kun Shui wanted, hadn't he? |
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Post by KUN SHUI WEI on Sept 14, 2013 20:56:23 GMT -8
tagged: Lucien Margaux time: May 13th. 7AM. speech: kun shui. notes: - - - He wasn’t fuming… not yet, at least. Or wouldn’t, because despite everything, Kun Shui was just not meant for long bursts of anger unless something was overbearingly threatening, and Lucien was anything but. He supposed he just needed an outlet for his anger and stress, having built it up ever since he came to America. The headache wasn’t helping, either.
Protesting probably wasn’t a good idea at the moment. Realistically, Lucien should’ve just bowed, taken it, and perhaps tried to clear it up when he wasn’t so angry. Still, the man always had a thing for speaking up, now didn’t he? He’d certainly been very vocal when he met him two years ago. In Kun Shui’s mind, it was a blurry line between how Lucien was now, and how he had been. Lucien was Lucien, and part of him was expecting that ugly part to rear up any time now.
Kun Shui didn’t like getting physical, and he wasn’t quite angry enough to do something drastic like smack him or give him a good punch to the jaw, just to see how he’d react. Still, he was angry enough to reach out and grab a fistful of Lucien’s hair, dragging him forcefully towards him. He couldn’t help but notice how start it looked against his skin; how red it was. If he hadn’t been living with him for the past couple of years, he would’ve thought it was dyed.
”Listen to me, even if it’s just this once.” Kun Shui gave his hair another firm tug. ”Don’t you dare do that again. Ever. Do you understand?” |
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Post by LUCIEN MARGAUX on Sept 14, 2013 21:20:18 GMT -8
tagged: name. time: date & time. notes: notes. He'd pushed Kun Shui so far that Kun Shui had gotten violent. The first few days of living with him, he hadn't thought it was possible. Kun Shui was so calm. He had seemed so orderly and under control, so unlike his brother, who was liable to snap over the smallest of things. Now he understood that that calm was a lie. The surface was calm, but in the water there were sharks that would devour him if he ever dipped a toe in.
Too late for that. There was no going back. He'd seen what was under the surface as Kun Shui's hand reached forward, grabbing his hair and dragging him closer. For a brief moment he had to wonder if he knew how often Jun Shi did that, and after another he had to decide that no, no he didn't. His scalp screamed as he was hauled forward, and the tears stung his eyes.
It didn't matter. He was done either way. There was no going back, no point in pointing out that he hadn't. That he'd wanted to see his family again, to know that they were okay and doing alright no matter how terrible things had been between them. Even if it didn't really matter--even if it was a pointless, useless gesture--he'd wanted it anyway. He'd wanted to talk to them, to at least know that they were okay. To tell him that he was okay, that he'd lived, that the grave they'd wept over was empty, and that their father would do it to them too if they weren't careful. He'd wanted to warn them, and despite all that he still hadn't called. He hadn't wanted to ruin things, and yet he'd managed to ruin them anyway.
He gave out. He was mostly limp in Kun Shui's grip, not resisting or struggling. He was barely standing himself up, and tears ran down his face. He didn't respond, didn't try and explain himself. He simply nodded a basic acknowledgement and hoped that Kun Shui would send him to his room. |
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Post by KUN SHUI WEI on Sept 15, 2013 9:21:04 GMT -8
tagged: Lucien Margaux time: May 13th. 7AM. speech: kun shui. notes: - - - Lucien was practically boneless in his grip, his head bowed down to the ground so he couldn’t see his face immediately He was submissive, all things considered, though to Kun Shui, he never really struck him as the sort. He’d always held a partial image of the Lucien he’d first met in his mind; rowdy and dominating, and he was the sort who always thought that a person simply couldn’t change so radically.
And oh, how wrong he was. As he glared down at Lucien, he suddenly realized that he was crying. He was slumped over, tail between his legs, with tears running in little rivulets down his face. He nodded slightly under his hand, though Kun Shui noticed that he bore an uncanny resemblance to a dog creeping forward, knowing it would be punished.
He supposed that it really struck him then. Lucien wasn’t Lucien anymore. He was a kitten that he’d worked so hard to coax out from under the couch, only to kick him back under again. Kun Shui took a slow breath, his cold fury ebbing for now, and he let go of Lucien’s hair. He didn’t say anything, though. He simply regarded him carefully. |
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