head in the clouds but my gravity's centered [knight]

After spending all day at Disney, anyone was going to be exhausted. They had spent the entire day on their feet, running around and waiting in lines and all the usual shenanigans that came with going to a theme park. It was only natural to pass out afterwards; only insanely fit people could handle Disney without any repercussions, but as we all know those kinds of people were myths and didn't actually live in this plane of existence. So it went without saying that after Kris got home that night, she had immediately fallen asleep the minute her head hit the pillow. It was kind of funny though, she couldn't actually remember leaving Neil's house. Or getting back to her apartment. Or falling asleep, for that matter.

Then again, Kris wasn't actually fully awake yet, either. That probably had something to do with her foggy memory. Someone was trying to wake her up, she could at least tell that much, and she frowned in her sleep at whoever the asshole was. "Ten more minutes," she mumbled, hugging her pillow and slowly nodding back off to sleep again. But then whoever this was had the audacity to shove at her again, and the girl grumbled, a little bit louder this time, "I said ten more minutes, fucker." Some people, holy shit. Did nobody appreciate the sleep of the living dead? She just wanted ten more minutes, was that too much to ask??? Whatever, it'd have to be a matter of life or death to get her out of bed. Saturday mornings were meant to be spent sleeping in, goddamn. She was perfectly comfortable where she was, she wasn't going anywhere. Boy-shaped pillows were the actual best, and-

Wait a second.

She didn't have a boy-shaped pillow.

Browns slowly opened to meet blues, sleepily blinking a couple of times in utter bemusement. Her mind was pulling a blank slate, and she couldn't register who this was or what was going on at all. Kris was far from being a morning person, and it typically took her at least an hour to fully wake up. Don't worry, give it a minute. It'd all click into place for her soon enough, and then you'll want to have some popcorn and a chair, because once she realized where she was and who she had been sleeping on, it was going to be funny as hell.

The pieces were slowly clicking together. She finally placed a name to the face, and realized that this was Neil. Neil = friend, friend = good, so she smiled at him as she replied to him with a "Hi." Because he was saying words at her, and while she was totally hearing them, she wasn't quite understanding what he was saying. A small frown wrinkled the space between her brows, as she tried to figure out just what he was asking. He wanted... her to move...? Oh, he wanted her to move! That wasn't very hard to puzzle together at all.

"M'kay," she mumbled, yawning as she rolled off of him. There, he was now free to go do whatever. And now she could go back to sleep. Yup, those ten more minutes were right in her grasp. She just hoped he could find his way alright, and didn't accidently walk into Ani or Ellie's rooms- wait a minute. Wait just a fucking minute. Something wasn't right here.

Her eyes shot wide open, as realization hit her like a ton of bricks. She jolted upright in bed, gaze flickering over the unfamiliar setting. Oh god, she had done it, she had fallen asleep at Neil's place- she had fallen asleep on top of Neil. Oh god oh god oh god this was so embarrassing she wanted to die--- she blushed crimson as the situation slowly sank in. Kris should have known that this would happen, but she had just been so tired last night. But now look what had happened! She buried her face in her hands; she was so, so stupid, shit.

There was nothing quite like waking up on top of your best friend to start your morning. Really, it was quite the experience, Kris highly recommended it. She felt like she was getting a headache, she was blushing so hard, and it wasn't even noon yet. None of the embarrassing shit she had done up until this point could even measure up to this. This was it, the pinnacle of her embarrassing existence. Kris reached for her phone, only to realize it had slipped out of her pocket while she was sleeping. Peering over the edge of the bed, she found it resting on the floor, and she quickly picked it up and checked the time. 8 a.m. That just made everything ten times better; someone somewhere was laughing at her.

She sighed, just as the bed shifted and Neil sat down next to her, a shit eating grin on his face as he spoke. Instantly, she scooted to the edge of the bed, and as far away from him as possible. The sight of him alone made her face flush crimson all over again, but what he said made her blush even harder. What was he even- it wasn't like she had meant to fall asleep on him! She hadn't even wanted to sleep over at all! And he was probably going to tease and make fun of her for this for the rest of her life and never let her forget this and-

This was awful. If she was going to be honest, she was kind of miserable on top of being embarrassed and tired, but first things first: she needed to apologize. So she quickly blurted out, not quite looking at him, "I-I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to, it was a total accident-" Because not only had she fallen asleep on him, she had also pretty much invited herself over without asking first and it was so rude and she still couldn't believe she did that! "I should, uh, probably go..." Because she had definitely overstayed her welcome and probably toed some kind of line and she felt really, really bad about all this just in general. All she wanted to do at the moment was curl into a ball under a million blankets and wither away.

From where she was sitting, Kris couldn't see Neil's smile, but if she could she probably would have taken a pillow and smothered him with it. Smug ass piece of shit thinking her freaking out was hilarious, god she'd kill him. Luckily for Neil, she didn't catch sight of his grin; she was too busy pressing her hands to her cheeks and trying to stop herself from blushing. So far, she hadn't been successful, but she could try! But she did notice when the jerk scooted closer towards her and began rubbing her back with his hand.

Well, it had the desired effect on her: namely, the opposite of reassuring. It was kind of amazing, how she had managed to go from sloth to deer in seconds flat, but here she was, freezing up in the headlights and about to get mowed down by an eighteen wheeler. Kris froze in place as Neil rubbed circles into her back, unsure of how to proceed. Jerkjerkjerk. If he wasn't her best friend, she'd kill him. Instead, she began to stutter out, quickly "Y-You should have woken me up anyway, I shouldn't have slept over, a-and I would have called a cab, that's beside the point!" Her face got hotter as she suddenly remarked, dryly, "Just admit you wanted to lord it over me that I ended up passing out over here after all."

Because he was an idiot and she hated him sooo much. This sucked. Her head really did hurt from blushing so much, and a cloud of gloom was hanging over her the more she thought about this. A light sigh escaped her lips, before she got to her feet, tiredly rubbing at her eyes as she said, "I really should go." Remember that thing about not fully waking up for an hour? Yeah, all this excitement first thing in the morning really wasn't doing it for her. She just wanted to go back to sleep and forget this whole thing had ever happened.

The heavy sigh made her turn around to fix him with a look, waiting for his answer. And what do you know, he actually admitted to it! Holy shit, why was she friends with him again? Kris had the feeling that was going to become a question she asked herself daily. The brunette grumbled something under her breath (that sounded suspiciously a lot like 'you're the worst.') as she looked around for her shoes. Upon finding them and slipping them on, she turned back around to face him again, still blushing in addition to glaring at him. Kris couldn't glare to save her life, though, so she looked more like a frustrated puppy than anything. "No, I refuse to ride in the same car as you, I'd rather walk the whole way home."

Never mind that she lived nowhere near him, and she'd probably have better luck walking back to Florida than finding her way to her apartment. But no, she still had some pride left, thank you very much; sure, it was completely battered and bruised and hardly existent, but it was still there! And there was no way in hell she was getting a ride home from him.

Before he could form a reply to that declaration, the girl rounded on her heels and marched out of the room... right into the disaster area he called his flat. Oh, yeah, she had totally forgotten that he lived in a bio-hazard zone. She wrinkled her nose in disgust, before she recalled something she had said last night. Hadn't she said that she'd clean his place for him? No, wait, that would be doing him a favor. But at the same time, she needed something to distract her from how embarrassed she was, and here was a project right in front of her. "Never mind, I'm staying." She declared with a sigh, grimacing at the mess before her. Where in the world did she even begin? "Please tell me you at least have a broom."

She was going to aggressively clean the shit out of this place and no one could stop her.

Two goals: clean his apartment, and forget any of this had happened.

She was only going to be successful in one of those.

Guess which one.

Ordinarily, cleaning anything at 8 a.m. on a Saturday morning would be the last thing Kris would want to do, never mind an entire apartment. But here she was, offering to clean his place for him for nothing in return. She must have been really, really tired and disoriented to be doing this, but at the moment Kris didn't have the brain energy to think about it too much. She just wanted to throw herself into doing something so she could forget about waking up on top of- "I want to." She retorted, stepping out of her shoes again and turning to face him, tone and expression dead serious as she frowned up at him. Just try and stop her at the moment- she'll punch a dude and then Windex the blood stains off the floor.

She knew he'd agree eventually, though. It'd be kind of silly to reject the help like that. Besides, if this continued he'd probably end up swimming through a sea of his crap. Sure it wasn't bad now, but give it time. If you put this kind of thing off too much, it'd manifest itself into a sentient being and develop a mind of it's own. Better to just do it now and get it over with. What she hadn't been expecting, however, was Neil offering to pay for her lunch and help with a wink. It almost made up for him being an asshole earlier. Almost.

"You're going to regret paying for my lunch." She replied, managing a small smile despite herself. No seriously he really was, he knew how much she could eat in one sitting and she hadn't had anything to eat in almost 12 hours. By the time they were done here she was going to be starving. Good luck, Neelanjan, you're going to need it. She took the broom from him, then focused her attention back on the sheer amount of stuff everywhere. How how how did he manage to do this in such a short amount of time? It was kind of amazing.

Okay, plan of action: she'd start by the door and make her way from there. It hit her that she had probably asked for the broom a little prematurely; she had to see the floor before she could sweep it. Lord, what was she getting herself into. With a sigh, she made her way into the midst of the mess, careful of where she stepped. "If there's anything you don't want me to touch, let me know now." All the techy stuff was probably off limits, so she'd just avoid all that. For now. "And if you're going to help you can start washing the dishes." She shot him a pointed look at that, eyebrows arching as if waiting for an objection. Because like hell was she going anywhere near that freak show, thank you very much.

'It wasn't really that bad' the boy had to be delusional, dear god. Just because he was a programmer didn't mean he couldn't pick up after himself! She made a face as she took in the pile of empty boxes. Okay, those could go first. She started picking them up and flattening them one-by-one; what in the world had he been buying off of Amazon? And there was so many of them too, she wasn't sure if she wanted to know. It was probably a bunch of computer junk she wouldn't understand. Probably. Or maybe he was a closet brony and had a secret collection of pony dolls stashed away somewhere. Yes, let's go with that. She'd bet money that Rainbow Fast was his favorite. Or maybe Flutterbye. Whatever their names were.

Wow, she must be more tired than she thought.

"I told you you had an ecosystem growing in there." She replied, grinning slightly as she piled the boxes together. "Try not to engage in battle with it, it might grow hostile and try to eat your face next." That had been one of the first things she complained about when she first walked through his door, if she recalled correctly. She didn't envy him at all. Washing dishes was gross; all that old food stuck on the plates and, and, ugh. She didn't want to think about it. And who knew how long those dishes had been sitting in that sink by now. She wouldn't put it past Neil to have had them in there for weeks on end, honestly. That was way too gross to even think about- she'd better change train of thought now.

Most of the boxes were now in a stack; there really was an insanely large number of Amazon boxes here. Did he ever do any shopping in real life? "Do you watch My Little Pony?" She asked suddenly; she had to know. It was for the sake of her curiosity. Meanwhile, she began picking up the various chip bags scattered across the floor, half-wondering where she was going to throw these away since his garbage can was still overflowing with trash. Computer programmer or not, he was perfectly capable of cleaning his shit up. What the hell.

He certainly sounded like he was having fun. Kris was glad he couldn't see her almost laughing at his exclamation that he was about to be swallowed whole by the ghosts of meals past. She was supposed to be mad at him, after all; it wouldn't do for him to think he was off the hook that easily. "No real loss." She replied with mock cheer. Good riddance, if you asked her. It would mean one less asshole in the world, and seeing as how they had an epidemic of assholes in this day and age, the food particles would be doing them a service.

Kris frowned at the number of bags she now had in her hands. Seriously, how hard was it to get up and throw these away? Though, she supposed if you had an overfull trash can, that could hinder you a bit. Then just take out the trash. Holy crap, she was in the middle of witnessing an amazing cycle of laziness she didn't even know existed. How fascinating. She should be taking pictures and recording data, she might just have made a new scientific breakthrough on the living patterns of the elusive species computeri programmius. "Really?" She drawled, eyes rolling skyward at the mention of this being his fault. No, of course it wasn't your fault Neelanjan, this was all the work of the house elves.

Hmm, so he wasn't buying MLP merchandise. She could cross that off her mental checklist. She was going to figure this out, you mark her words. She was going to go through every feasible thing she could think of to explain what in the world he was buying off of Amazon. Instead of, y'know, doing the logical thing and just asking him. Oh no, that'd be the smart thing to do, and as we all know Kristen preferred doing things the hard way. It didn't exactly help that she wasn't at 100% functionality, either, but who needed that detail, right?

"Nope." She replied to his question, tossing her handful of bags on top of the pile of boxes. They were all getting tossed anyway, it was fine. "I never really got into it, though my sister watches it." Her little sister thought My Little Pony was the best thing since sliced bread. She also thought Twinkies could last forever and that drop bears actually were real, so Kris wasn't exactly inclined to trust her opinion on things too much. Oh hey, she could actually see patches of the floor now! Progress! But back to solving the mysteries of the Amazon boxes: "What about Sailor Moon?" If he thought these questions were strange and out of the blue, he hadn't mentioned it yet, so she was just going to keep asking. #YOLO

Yes, okay, she'd give him that much: it could be much, much worse. That wasn't exactly something to be proud of, though- it was still pretty bad, for all intents and purposes. You just- you couldn't just leave potato chip bags all over the floor! It was so gross! What the heck!! Did he not understand that that kind of thing attracts bugs??? It was so dumb, she couldn't comprehend it. Cleaning was a pain in the ass, sure, but it was better to do it when the mess wasn't that bad. The longer you put it off, the worse it got, and the less you'd want to do it. Which was pretty much exactly what had happened here. At least he didn't have empty pizza boxes piled to the ceiling or anything like that, right? Silver linings!

At the mention of bronies, however, Kris wrinkled her nose. She didn't have too much respect for people who took an innocent little kid's show and twisted it around to meet their standards. She didn't mind people who liked the show- good for them! But the things she had seen and heard about bronies just pissed her off. "Of course." She replied with a small frown, picking up a shirt off the floor. She was extremely protective of her younger siblings; she wasn't about to let her little sister stumble upon some godawful brony blog, kthnx.

She had collected quite the pile of shirts now, and unceremoniously dumped them in the hall. He could figure out what to do with them himself. With about 80% of the floor now visible, Kris figured she could go ahead and start sweeping now. As she was grabbing the broom from where she had left it propped up against the wall, Neil finally asked her about her questioning. Well, she couldn't reveal her true purpose, now could she? So instead she replied, distractedly, "That's a question." Without elaborating any further, she began briskly sweeping up all the crumbs, dust, and bits and pieces of trash that had found it's way to the floor. He hadn't swept since he got here, had he? Not surprising at this point.

So it wasn't Sailor Moon. HMM, the plot thickens. "No." She answered him in a complete monotone, pondering over what else he could possibly have been buying off the Internet. Not MLP, not Sailor Moon, so what else could it be? "Yu-Gi-Oh?" That wasn't that out there, was it? And she was pretty sure Yu-Gi-Oh had a bunch of merchandise and stuff you could buy, so it was completely plausible that he was a fan! And YGO was still an ongoing thing, she was fairly positive?? Maybe??? She had to be close to cracking this case wide open by now, she could feel it. It was only a matter of time!